Sharing The Pain
by CrazyMaritimer
Summary: It was only a matter of time before it became too much to hold inside. NS friendship, maybe more.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing so please don't sue.My car needs gas and the way things are going I'm already going to owe the oil company my first born.

**Rating: **K -for this part, probably not for the next

**Pairing: **Nick/Sara friendship-could become more

**A/N: **Ok, here's the deal. I'm not a writer. I would never claim to be a writer. I even managed to get through an Arts degree without taking an English class - booyah ! LOL I just had an idea and it isn't perfect but I did work hard on it. So please, be gentle.

Hope you enjoy !

* * *

Nick was in the locker room. He and Warrick had just finished processing a DB in a hot, sticky warehouse and he was feeling less than comfortable in his sweat-soaked T-shirt. Just as he was pulling a fresh shirt over his head, a locker door opened behind him. He turned to see Sara sit down on the bench, her gaze fixated on the back wall of her locker. 

"Hey Sara, how are ya?" he asked while buttoning up his blue shirt. When she didn't answer, he turned back to see her pulling out her jacket. "A little early to be heading home isn't it?" He watched as she let out a heavy sigh.

"I guess", she answered quietly. Apparently Nick hadn't noticed that she had been at the lab for almost twenty four hours. She was going to say something but thought better of it. Nick was just being Nick. There was no need for her to take her anger out on him. Anger, frustration, sadness; those were in the forefront of her mind. Fatigue was one that was striving for top spot as well. She squeezed her eyes shut in an attempt to ward off the impending headache. It wasn't so much that Grissom had commented that she needed a break, because she was indeed tired, it was the fact that he had made the decision for her. She was a grown woman, capable of taking care of herself. Even though she had been doing a piss poor job of it lately.

She was startled from her thoughts by a warm hand on her shoulder and looked up to meet a set of concerned brown eyes.

"Take it easy, okay Sar?"

She managed a fake smile, hoping it would fool not only Nick, but herself as well.

"Hey Nick, we gotta head out with Catherine." Warrick informed his colleague from the doorway. "Hey Sara."

Sara looked up briefly. "Hey Warrick."

"I'll meet you outside okay Nick? I need some supplies for my kit," he said while pushing off the doorframe and backing up.

"Uh, yea, actually I'm getting low on some stuff too, I'll come with you." Nick closed his locker and started to head out of the room. "I'll see you tomorrow Sara, try to get some rest."

Sara looked up from her lap and rolled her eyes. "I'm fine, Nick. Really, I am." Her voice was tinged with annoyance.

Nick held his hands up in defense. "Ok, ok"

He grabbed his jacket off of the bench and started out the doorthenstopped and turned back, staying just outside the doorway. Sara's shoulders had slumped forwardand she was studying her fingers intently.

* * *

Warrick watched his friend enter the room. He looked deep in thought. 

"You alright?"

Nick glanced over as he packed some swabs in his kit.

"Wha-yea, yea, I'm alright."

Warrick was skeptical but decided not to pry. He gathered some new print powder and placed it in his kit.

"Hey War, do you know how long Sara's been working on her case?"

Warrick flicked the latches on his kit, effectively locking it then let his hands rest on top. "Oh, I'd say it's been awhile. That call came in about mid-shift yesterday. I highly doubt she's been home."

Nick nodded as he closed his kit.

Sensing this wasn't the answer that Nick was hoping for Warrick added, "You know how focused Sara gets, she'll be alright. She's just in the zone."

"Yea, I guess so," Nick replied. Yet, the image of Sara sitting on the bench, her defeated posture was still fresh in his mind.

"Hey we better haul ass, Cath's been waitin' and I see no need to provoke her tonight." Warrick grinned and slapped a hand on Nick's back.

Nick managed a small smile. "Nor do I my friend, nor do I."

He tried to suppress his concern for Sara in order to focus on the task at hand but it proved to be easier said than done.

* * *

The refrigerator and the bedroom closet had been cleaned out. The bathroom had never been so spotless and Sara was no closer to sleep than she had been when she gotten home. She had to keep her mind occupied otherwise it would wander back to the cases she'd worked lately. It seemed that nobody wanted to steal cars or rob convenience stores anymore. No, people would rather beat their spouses and children and rape women both young and old. With one last look at the nowsparkling kitchen floor and a heavy sigh, she threw the rag in the bucket and threw said bucket into the closet. She then got into her most comfortable pajamas, made herself a cup of chamomile tea and climbed into her bed. The tea had a somewhat relaxing effect and eventually Sara slept- for three hours. After throwing her pillow across the room she got up and showered, had a very strong cup of coffee and then, seeing as how everything in her apartment wasglowing with cleanliness, she went back to work. Grissom wouldn't be there so she would be able to work in peace for a couple hours at least.

* * *

As he walked down the hall, Nick couldn't help but feel good. He was confident that the evidence he had just dropped off at DNA would solidify his already strong case; plus, his paperwork was all caught up from his last couple of cases and that makes anyone feel good. However, the good feeling was short-lived as he opened the door to the locker room and his eyes fell upon one, Sara Sidle. He stood at the door for a moment, but when Sara didn't acknowledge his presence he continued to his locker. He glanced over his shoulder as he dug through his locker. 

"Rough case, huh?"

"Yea, I guess you could say that."

"Wanna talk about it?"

She inhaled deeply. "No, Nick, I'm fine."

Nick sensed that Sara might want to be left alone. _She was probably just collecting herself when when I came in here. _He looked at her again, an unsettling feeling growing in his gut. He debated whether to risk facing her wrath by questioning her again. It was the veil of sadness that seemed to be hanging over her that decided for him.

"Hey, have you eaten anything today?"

Sara closed her eyes. _Don't do this, Nick, please. _"Uh, yea, I had some . . . " She searched her brain for something that would satisfy his curiosity. Her mind was on hyper drive and her emotions had begun to overwhelm her. She was having trouble putting a coherent sentence together and she just wanted Nick to go away.

The corner of Nick's mouth curled just a little. "That's what I thought. Here... ," he handed her a rather large blueberry muffin, "...it'll take the edge off until you can get a good meal into you."

Sara stared at the muffin for a few moments. Nick watched, a little puzzled, as her hand slowly reached out toward his offering. It was then that he noticed she was trembling.

"Sara?"

He studied her face as he set the muffin down on the bench. Her unblinking eyes never strayed from the homemade treat. He knelt down beside her and resteda hand on her knee.

"Sar?"

His concern grew with each second that Sara stayed quiet. Nick dipped his head a little and looked into her eyes.They were filled to the brim with tears threatening to fall at any second.

"Hey", he said softly.

Sara closed her eyes and as she turned her head towards Nick, the tears fell. One splashedonto the bench and another landed on the hand covering her knee. She hated that Nick was seeing her like this. She worked so hardtoalways remain professionalwhile at work and at this moment she was failing miserably. She felt extremely weak and humiliated.

"What's wrong?"

Sara met his eyes and held his gaze for a moment. As the corners of his mouth turned up ever so slightly, she couldn't hold back anymore. She let one sob out and then another. _Oh, God. _She had never broken down like this at work. It was always when she was in the secure privacy of her apartment that she allowed her emotions to surface. _I can't do this here, not in front of Nick._

"Sara."

She couldn't say anything as another sob escaped.

"Sar, how 'bout I take you home?"

Nick's voice was soothing and her fatigued mind and body urged her to accept his offer while her stubborn and angry side fought to block out his kindness. She opened her eyes and met his gaze again.

Nick spoke once more, his voice even softer than before.

"Please, Sara?"

The part of her that was so insistent on being independent finally relented once she saw the sincerity in Nick's eyes. She gave a slight nod as more tears cascaded over her wet cheeks.

Nick nodded and stood up to grab Sara's jacket and bag out of her locker. He clicked it closed and turned back to his distraught friend. Her eyes had shifted and were now focused on the muffin sitting in front of her. He sat down and enveloped her shaking hand in his. She turned slightly and gave a gentle squeeze before she stood up and wiped the unshed tears from her eyes. Without another word, they headed towards the parking lot.

She had mumbled a quiet thanks as he opened the passenger door of his Denali. The rest of the drive was silent. Occasionally, Nick would glance to his right trying to assess how she was doing. Sara kept her head turned; her eyes watching the passing lights. She wasn't sure exactly how she was feeling. It was all too much. The case, her encounter with Grissom and then Nick. She wondered briefly what Nick was thinking. He had never seen her cry. No one except Grissom had seen her cry and she wanted to keep the number of people that did to a bare minimum. That night had been so humiliating.

Her thoughts were interrupted as the Denali slowed to a stop in front of her apartment. Sara got out and shut the door as Nick came around to meet her. She wouldn't look him in the eye.

"Well, I suppose you should get back to work then."

"Yea, I suppose I should."

"I, uh, I really appreciate you driving me home. You didn't have to do that."

"I really didn't mind, Sara."

Nick didn't want to force her to confide in him but there was obviously something seriously bothering her. She had stopped crying but her eyes were still so full of despair. Nick had a feeling that whatever had gone on before he found her in the locker room would be rehashed and analysed until exhaustion forced her into a restless sleep.

He didn't know what case she had been working on but he suspected it had involved either rape or domestic abuse. He also suspected that Grissom was involved because, well, let's face it, he usually was. And finally, he had noticed that Sara was wearing the same clothes she had on early yesterday morning. After giving her another once over, Nick realized that the clothes she had on were her spare set from her locker which meant that she had been there longer than he had first thought.

"Well," he began, seeing Sara begin to grow more and more uncomfortable under his gaze, "I was heading out for coffee earlier, maybe you could save me a trip to Starbucks?"

It wasn't a lie, he was going for coffee when he found Sara in the locker room. He knew that she wouldn't ask him to stay, she probably already felt that she had been a burden to him. Of course that wasn't the case but she wouldn't be convinced of that. Seeing Sara in such an emotional and vulnerable state had shaken him and he needed to see for himself that she was alright and hopefully see to it that she get some rest. However, if she really wanted to be alone, he would respect her decision. But he'd give her the option of some company.

"Of course, Nick, come on up."

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I would love to know what you thought ! P.S. Have a rockin' good day ! 


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **See first chapter.

**Rating: **T, just to be safe.

**Spoilers: **I guess you could say Nesting Dolls.

**A/N: **Sorry this is so short but I'm going away tomorrow and I wanted to get something up because I'll be gone for awhile. I hope everyone enjoys it and sticks with me until the end (whenever that may be)! Feedback is always welcome.

Oh and all mistakes are mine. I apologize in advance.

* * *

_"__Of course, Nick, come on up."_

The truth was, Sara did not want any company. She needed to be alone. This case had stirred up memories that she had worked very hard to keep in the deep recesses of her mind and she wasn't sure how she was going to deal with them. But she had interrupted his break and he had been kind enough to drive her home. Sara turned towards the stairs and inwardly cringed as she thought about how she had completely broke down in front of him. The more she thought of it, as they both walked up to her apartment, the more embarrassed and humiliated she felt. As they entered her apartment, Sara went directly to the kitchen and started the coffee. She figured the faster it was prepared, the faster Nick could get back to work and he wouldn't be there to ask her any questions. She stood at the counter waiting, not so patiently, for the coffee when she saw Nick moving out of the corner of her eye. He had hung up her jacket and was bringing her bag into the kitchen. He set it on the counter beside the refrigerator. Her brow furrowed slightly as she stirred their coffee. That's where she always put it, but she wasn't quite sure how he knew that. She shook her head a little and watched as he went and stood at the window. Sara made her way towards him with his coffee, which he accepted gratefully and then she took a seat on her couch. Nick followed suit. With his elbows on his knees, he held the coffee mug in both hands and took a drink. She set hers on the table, not really interested.

Neither of them had said anything. Sara turned to look at Nick. He had leaned back and was examining his coffee, which was resting in his lap. He had a thoughtful look upon his face. Sara returned her focus to her hands. Nick really was a great friend. Anyone else would have pushed her to tell them what was going on with her. Instead, he was sitting there, slowly sipping his coffee. She closed her eyes and wondered if it was time to tell someone. Everyone seems to think that if you talk about something, then it will get easier; that it won't be such a burden if you have someone that you can talk to about it. She gave her head a quick shake. No, she couldn't do that to Nick. He had his own demons that he was undoubtedly still dealing with. Sara didn't want to add an extra weight to his shoulders. He didn't need to be worrying about her and if she did tell him, that is exactly what he would do.

She didn't like to think about what he had gone through not too long ago. If she thought about it too much, she would remember just how close they came to losing him. She would remember how her breath had caught in her throat when Warrick's stopwatch began beeping. That was only an estimation. For all they knew, he could have run out of air long before they found him. But, that wasn't the case, he was here now and that was what she had to focus on.

As the silence between them continued, she began to go over the case that had ignited all these memories in the first place. The scene had too many similarities. If she hadn't had such a rough couple of weeks, this scene might not have bothered her so much. She probably would have had a rough night in the sleep department but she wouldn't have been so upset. But the last three cases had been domestic abuse and the one before that had been a brutal rape.

She had arrived at the house and the moment she saw that little girl with the dark hair and big scared eyes, her stomach dropped. As Brass filled her in on the details of the case, Sara couldn't tear her eyes away from her as she stared out from the police car window. Suddenly, the sullen child started screaming and beating her tiny hands against the glass. Sara turned her attention to the front door of the house as an officer led a woman out toward an awaiting ambulance. She was covered in blood but didn't appear to be injured. It was then that Sara noticed the hand cuffs and the vacant, detached look on the woman's face.

The air was thick and the smell of iron consumed her as she entered the bedroom. She saw the victim lying beside the bed. Beneath him was creamed coloured carpet soaked in blood. The walls displayed patterns of cast off. The mirror was smashed and a lamp lay broken beside the victim. She was alone in the room for a few minutes. The only sound was the blood pounding in her ears. She was looking at the man lying dead in a pool of his own blood yet the only image she could see was of that little girl in the car outside. She heard Grissom approach from behind yet said nothing as he set his case down beside hers. Sara had left the lab before Grissom. She knew that he wouldn't want her on this case. Without acknowledging him, she lifted the camera and began taking pictures. She knelt down to get a close up of the knife wounds in the victim's chest. As she raised the camera up to her eye, she struggled to keep it steady. About fifteen seconds past and she could still not get a clear shot. She lowered the camera and took a deep breath then tried again. It didn't work. She felt a gloved hand cover hers while the other took hold of her camera. She looked up into Grissom's eyes as he silently took away the camera. She stood up to protest but Grissom spoke before her.

"Sara, you need to go home."

Sara clenched her jaw tight. "Grissom, I can handle this case." Even as she said the words, she didn't believe them.

Grissom's voice was calm and even. "Sara, you haven't been home in two days, you cannot work this case or any other case until you get some rest."

Saramoved to take her camera back and Grissom took hold of her wrist. "Please Sara, don't do this to yourself. You haven't slept, you've barely eaten and you definitely don't need this case right now."

"How would you know what I need? Are you saying I can't handle this case? Is that what you're saying to me Grissom?"

Grissom closed his eyes as Sara tried to take her camera again, only succeeding in grabbing the strap.

"Grissom, I need to work this case", she pleaded.

He spoke softly. "What you need, is some sleep, Sara"

Her grip on the camera strap loosened until her hand fell to her side. It was clear that she was going to lose this battle and a small part of her realized that Grissom was right. Without another word she picked up her kit and walked out of the house. The police car was gone now and she thought about how nothing in that little girl's life was ever going to be the same again. This night has changed her forever. No matter how much support she receives or how much therapy she goes through, there will always be something different. If she's lucky, she'll learn how to cope with all the fear, anger and sadness. Hopefully this night won't stop her from trusting someone or from feeling safe.

Hopefully this night won't prevent her from having a loving relationship.

Hopefully she won't let this night define who she is.

As she turned the ignition of the Denali, Sara realized she still held those same hopes for herself.

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	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: **See first chapter.

**Rating: **I've raised it to M, 'cause I'm a safety girl.

**A/N: **A big thanks to everyone who has left me feedback, I really appreciate it. I hope everyone enjoys this chapter. It's quite intense but I hope that it comes across as believable. How about you let me know how I did in a review? LOL

Once again all mistakes are mine. I apologize in advance.

* * *

They sat silently. Sara's hands were in her lap, trembling slightly. Nick watched as Sara desperately fought to get a handle on her emotions. She took a deep breath and slowly rubbed her hands up and down her thighs. She looked over at Nick as he finished that last of his coffee. She wasn't sure why but at that moment, she really wanted to be free of her secret; not the abbreviated one that she had shared with Grissom. The whole terrifying truth. The urge was almost overwhelming, like suddenly it was a poison that had to expelled immediately from her body. She turned to face Nick and he automatically mirrored her by turning his body as well. When she spoke, her voice was low but clear. She already knew the answer to the question she was going to ask but there was still a fear that what she was about to do was a monumentous mistake. She looked into his eyes and her tone was deathly serious.

"Nick, can I trust you?"

The seriousness of her tone told Nick that an answer like 'Of course you can Sara, you know that.', would not suffice. He looked directly into her eyes and with heartfelt sincerity he replied, "Yes."

She studied his eyes for a few moments then took a deep breath and wrapped her arms protectively around her middle in an attempt to feel a slight sense of security before she told Nick about the worst day of her life and the event that proved to be a catalyst for more horrors.

Sara didn't say another word for about five minutes. Nick wasn't sure if he should say something but he decided that this was her time. She needed to be the one in control. So, after a few more agonizing minutes, Nick watched as Sara took a deep breath then broke the silence with a quiet voice.

"It all happened so fast, you know? I was up in my room reading on my bed. They were yelling but," she shrugged, "that wasn't uncommon in my house." Sara looked up into his eyes, still unsure if she could do this. She had kept this part of her life so private. She didn't want people to judge her or question her ability to work certain cases because of her history. She didn't want to see pity in anyone's eyes. In Nick's eyes she saw none of that. What she found was compassion and a steady strength that silently willed her to continue. She took another deep breath and let it out in a huff.

"So", she swallowed hard. "then I heard a plate or a bowl or something smash against the wall and they stopped. The silence didn't last long and they were yelling at each other again in a few seconds. I covered my ears but it didn't help so I moved into my closet. I remember screaming back at them through the doors as I clutched one of my teddy bears."

Nick smiled inwardly at the thought of Sara as a little girl playing with teddy bears. He wondered whether or not she had any happy memories as a child. He hoped that they all weren't tainted by her parents screaming at each other all the time.

Sara's head fell toward her chest and shetoyed withher fingers. Her voice lowered. "I don't think that I expected them to hear me or anything. It was, uh, more of an attempt to block out their screaming w-with my own. I just wanted them to stop." She took in a shaky breath. "So then, I heard them yelling something about me. Well, I heard my name, anyway. At the time, I figured they wanted me to come down so, that's what I did. Now that I think of it, I have no idea why they would've wanted me down there but I was twelve and I just wanted the screaming to stop. So, I made it to the landing which, overlooked our kitchen and I saw that my dad had my mom pushed up against the wall with his forearm against her chest and partly on her throat. I remember I screamed at him to let her go as I ran down the stairs toward them." Sara's voice had become eerily calm; her eyes trained on something across the room.

"_Sara, get back upstairs!"_

"_Leave her alone!", Sara screamed as she grabbed at the arm not pushing against her mother's chest. Hetried to shake his daughter off of him. "Daddy, sto-" Sara was knocked off her feet and slammed against the kitchen counter, hitting her head on the lip of the counter top. Tears immediately filled the young girl's eyes._

"_Michael, stop! Look at what you did to your daughter!" Laura Sidle tried to pry her husband's arm from her chest._

_He slapped her across the face. "Shut up, you stupid bitch. She's my daughter and I'll do whatever the hell I want!"_

_As Sara's weeping filled the kitchen, Laura managed to push her husband off and he stumbled into the chairs surrounding the kitchen table. She scrambled to get to her daughter, whose cries had consumed the room._

"_Sara, are you alright?" She gripped her child's head with both hands bringing Sara's eyes up to meet her own. In her mother's eyes, Sara found tears that matched her own._

"She looked so scared." Sara's voice wavered. "So...scared." She repeated softly as a single tear trickled down her cheek and landed on her clasped hands. "My dad pulled her away and threw her into the wall. The framed picture fell from the wall and the glass broke. It was just another horrible sound to go along with everything else that was happening." She gave a small shrug and stole a quick glance at Nick before continuing. "Then I remember screaming and I started to go after him again but he turned around and slapped me across the face."

Nick winced at Sara's words. He couldn't believe he was hearing this. He couldn't comprehend how any man could hit a woman let alone his own wife and especially his daugther. The thought of Sara being at the receiving end of that type of violence sickened him. He was disgusted and infuriated as he shifted slightly, wishing he could displace his anger somehow. He looked up in time to see Sara's face crumble as sobs overwhelmed her.

Sara felt the small amount of remaining strength leave her with every painful tear that cascaded down her cheeks. "I-I fell back and just stared at him. He didn't even look like my dad. His eyes were black with rage. He was sweating; his chest heaving. I looked down at his fists and they were clenched so tight. He stepped closer to me and I wasn't sure what to do." She looked up at Nick as he gently took her trembling hand in his, giving it a gentle squeeze as she continued. "I was so scared that I couldn't move but I wasn't sure what he would do if he got a hold of me."

"_Sara, go to your room," he said calmly. But she was frozen in place. _

"_Sara! Do what you're told for once and get the hell upstairs!" Still, Sara did not move. _

"_Daddy, why are you doing this?" she squeaked as her head tilted to one side, her eyes once again brimming with tears. She looked around for her mother and found her still on the floor, her head coming up ever so slightly. Sara looked back to her father just as he grabbed her by the shoulders, his violent grip shot sharp pain throughout her upper body. "Why don't you ever listen to me?", he screamed at his daughter, only inches from her face. His face was crimson with anger._

"_Daddy, your scaring me!"_

"_Shut up Sara, just shut up, shut up, shut up!" He shook her without restraint. He just wanted her to go away._

"_Daddy, stop it you're hurting me," she cried. He was squeezing her shoulders so hard. She couldn't figure out what she had done wrong._

"_Michael, let go of her!" Her mother had gotten up and was coming toward the two of them. Her cheek was starting to swell and her lip was split open._

"_I'm so sick of you telling me what to do, Laura! She's my daughter too, or are you trying to tell me something?"_

"_Mommy!" Sara tried to wiggle out her father's grasp._

"_Michael, you're hurting her. For God's sake, let her go!" Laura tried to pry her husband's hands from around the tiny arms of her daughter._

"_Let go of me, bitch!"_

"_Daddy stop, leave her alone!"_

_Michael looked at his daughter with eyes full of disgust. "Why are you on her side, Sara? I bet when I'm not here she tells you all kinds of stories about me."_

_Sara was terrified. She looked over at her mother._

"_Don't look at her!", he screamed as he whipped her around to face him._

_She strained her neck to look at her mother again. "I don't know what you're talking about Da-"_

"_Shut the fuck up! You need to learn to do what you're told you little bitch. Do you want to grow up to be a whore, Sara? Yea, you're probably going to turn out just like your mother! " He spat the venomous words to her face._

"_How dare you talk to your daughter like that? I don't even know you anymore! Let her go!" Laura began thrashing her arms at him, desperate for him to let go of Sara._

"_Get your hands off of me, God knows where they've been!" He shoved Sara out of the way and she landed on her back with her head cracking against the tile. She lifted her head to see her father shove her mother hard against the wall with brutal force._

"_Mommy!" Sara screamed as she saw her father punch her mother in the face. She was about to go to her when Laura called to her._

"_Sara, get away!"_

"_Mommy!" _

_Her father looked up and started to walk toward her. Sara scrambled backwards until she was up against the screen door that led to the backyard._

"_Run, Sara!", her mother screamed._

_Michael turned back to look at his wife on the floor, blood flowing freely from a gash on her head. "Shut up, Laura!" _

_Sara took advantage of the tiny diversion and burst out the door. She started running across the yard, past her swings and through the hedges that separated their backyard from their neighbors'. Sara was sobbing loudly, her tears blurred her vision. She looked back to see if her father had followed. When she turned back around, she tripped over her feet and hit the ground hard, skinning her knees and chin. The pain registered immediately and Sara cried out in pain._

_Just then the neighbor's back door opened. "Sara, honey, what happened?" Sara just put her head on the ground and continued to cry. _

Nick took a deep breath.

The tears were still falling asSara looked down at Nick's thumb caressing the top of her hand. "Claire and Ben were so nice. Looking back, I'm sure they had heard most of the fighting. My parents were never ones to censor themselves for fear of the neighbours hearing."

She turned her head toward Nick. Her eyes were filled with tears, yet she wore a small smile that broke Nick's heart a little more. "Claire made the most amazing blueberry muffins."

Nick smiled and with his free hand gently tucked an unruly piece of hair behind her ear. "Yea?"

Sara nodded as tears ran down the sides of her face. "Yea, she did." Her forehead crumpled and her chin quivered, her body once again overcome with sobs. She leaned forward and rested her head on Nick's chest.

Nick brought his hand up and gently stroked the soft waves. "Oh, Sara" he sighed and placed a tender kiss to the top of her head. His chest was tight and he was barely containing the lump in his throat as he listened to her cry.

After a couple of minutes, Sara sniffled and lifted her head. "They had a niece my age. Lola, she was, uh, suppose to come visit the next day. I had been looking forward to her visit all summer. But that night, well, I never went back to my house again. I never got to visit with Lola and I never saw Claire and Ben again."

Sara shook her head slowly. "That night," she said forlornly. "Claire was trying clean off the grass from my knees. She told me that everything would be alright. Then I heard the m-most horrible scream come from my house. It was my mom." Sara paused for a moment and rubbed her forehead. "This is horrible, I feel like I'm back there again, Nick. I can- "

The pain became too overwhelming. She felt the exact same way as she had that night. Her chest tightened painfully. She looked over at him. "I just... it feels...it's, it hurts so much!", she stammered.

She looked up toward the ceiling, trying desperately to keep the tears at bay and continued. "I bolted back to my house and through the screen door but they weren't in the kitchen. I ran upstairs and looked in all the rooms. I found them in their bedroom. I, uh, I saw the blood. Oh my God, Nick, the blood, it was everywhere; the floor, the walls, on my mom's mirror. I looked at my mom. She was on her knees looking at my dad; the knife still in her hand, blood was covering the entire blade. I-I-I-I couldn't even speak. My dad wasn't moving. I was looking at his face and he wasn't moving. And my mom, she was just...sitting there."

She got up from the couch and began pacing in front of Nick, wringing her hands. "He wasn't moving! It was completely silent. I couldn't move, my mom was just staring, I don't even know if she knew I was there. The blood was EVERYWHERE! Then I heard the sirens, people flooded around me and one grabbed my arm and I remember screaming at him and the whole time my mother didn't say a word!"

Sara had come unglued and Nick was scared. He had known Sara for six years. There had been times when she got upset and angry and pissed off, they all had but, it was usually due to a case. She was usually so composed and guarded. This was beyond out of character and he wasn't sure what she was going to do next. He got up and tried to get Sara to focus on him. She was trembling and her breathing was shallow and erratic.

"Sara." He tried to get her to look him in the eye.

"Sara, look at me," he said more firmly and gently took hold of her forearm.

"She just sat there an-an-an-and even when they were taking me away and I SCREAMED for her, she didn't even LOOK at me, Nick! She just let them take me away an-and my dad, he was there and there was the blood and..."

Nick grabbed her and held her tightly to his chest, one hand on the back of her head, the other across the middle of her back.

"Sara, honey, take a deep breath," he instructed as his hand stroked the back of her head.

She gripped the front of his shirt with both hands. "Why didn't she look at me, Nick?" She sobbed into his chest.

"I don't know, Sar. I wish I had the answers for you_." _

Nick had never heard anguish and pain of this magnitude. The fact that it was Sara– God, that blew him away even more. He didn't know what he should do, so he did the only thing that came to mind; he stood there and held her.

He held onto her for dear life.

* * *


End file.
